Monday, September 20, 2010

Hello friends.

Today I would like to comment on progress. Mine, specifically :-)

I have to say that I have come a LONG LONG LONG LONG way from where I started. Last year I was green as can be. So inexperienced, without any knowledge of how to teach reading, without any knowledge of how to function completely on my own. Let me tell you, you learn to swim quickly when you are thrown into a lake with no life preserver. That's kind of how my first year of teaching was. Last year I learned how to tread water so I wouldn't drown. And luckily, my kids made some growth, passed the isats, and ultimately did pretty ok.

Now this year, I think I have jumped a few levels in swimming lessons. I firmly believe it has a lot to do with all the reflecting I did on my first year. I spent the whole summer thinking about how things went and what I wanted to change. Now, here I sit, Monday of week 5, and I'm worlds ahead of where I was.

This is all excellent news!!! But....
here's the problem.

No matter how much I progress, or how far I feel like I've come, I'm still not where I wish I was. And what really stinks, is that there are brand new teachers in my building who are past where I am now....in their FIRST YEAR. This makes me feel inadequate. As if I will never get to the level they are, even though I've been doing this a year longer and should be wiser. Pure insecurity.

I have my first evaluation meeting this week, and I'm hoping that a talk with my principal will help put things into perspective for me. I need a little feedback, a little reassurance that I'm on track. Teachers don't get pats on the back very often, but they really help you keep going in the right direction.