Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween.

Helloween.

Hell.

wowoowowowowowowowowow. I now have a new-found appreciation for my elementary school teachers.

I am a firm believer that school should be fun for kids. When people have fun doing their job, they are generally more productive and morale is higher. The same thing applies to kids, but in an even greater sense. If they are totally bored and not enjoying what they are learning, then they won't retain nearly as much as when they are having some fun during the school day.

That said, Halloween is an f-ing crazy holiday to celebrate in school. Here's why:
1. There isn't much that is academic about Halloween. Sure, we can teach about the history of it and its origins, but this can only be taken so far. Plus, let's be real here, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with how Halloween is celebrated now, so it has no authentic context for the kids to relate to.
2. Classroom teachers have a LOT of responsibility. When you are the student, you don't realize all of the thousands of things running through a teacher's brain at all times. Between doing a head count every 5 minutes, running through the list of unique needs of each child, and keeping your eyes peeled to see which kids are off task, you're a very busy person. Oh, and did I mention you have to teach and be clear and answer all kinds of questions and be PATIENT at the same time? Yeah. So, throw into the mix 22 kids who are not at all focused on school for an entire morning, the promise of a party in the afternoon, and the need to supervise 7 classes of 24 students changing into costumes in 3 bathroom stalls ALL AT ONCE......yeah.
3. The parents. Oh lord have mercy. Everyone wants to be there to celebrate important moments with their child. But these are 5th graders. They've done this now for 11 years, and the parties dont' change much. I had upwards of 7 parents in my room for 2 hours in the afternoon. That sounds nice doesn't it? Except that in that neighborhood, you have to be careful what you say, how you address the kids, what you leave out on your desk - because they will find things and they will scrutinize and they will bash you on the soccer field.

Yeah, so Halloween is hell for teachers.

Other than that, I'm happy to report that it was a pretty good week. I have my second meeting with my principal next week, our first field trip (to the Lyric Opera!), a full day SMARTboard training, and a pretty serious meeting involving one of my kids, his parents, the principal, the social worker, and the kid's psychiatrist.

It's going to be an interesting week.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

To steal a favorite phrase from my teacher friend Amy, I teach for moments like this:

Parent/Teacher/Student conferences begin today after school and continue into tomorrow (all day long....). In an effort to prepare the kids for this, I had each of them fill out a goals sheet, and I've met with them each individually so that we can talk through the goals and discuss how they'll meet them. These have been really good experiences so far because it's rare that I get to touch base for any length of time with each kid in my class. Today, however, I took about a half hour to explain the structure of the conferences with the whole class so that they would know what to expect. Our conversation turned into an AMAZING moment where kids were sharing their personal worries about grades and disappointing parents and thinking that their best isn't enough to please the people that they love.

Some highlights:
- "European parents are VERY serious about school"
- A student sharing with me privately afterwards that she overheard her parents saying that they need to focus on giving their kids the best education possible so the kids can take care of the parents when they are old.
- Kids responding like somebody finally UNDERSTOOD them when I told them that it is normal for them to have new reactions, extreme emotions, and relationship changes at this age
- Seeing my kids relate to each other in a personal way that I haven't seen before.

It was as if all of a sudden it was just our class, that we were in it for the long haul. Just before sending them out to recess, I told them that for me, their best is enough. I shared that I have similar worries, but I worry about disappointing their parents, the principal, and them, my kids. I said "I'm going to give you my best every single day, and I know that you are going to give me your best in return" AND THEY APPLAUDED ME.

I teach for moments like this :-)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Today was one of those days that you look back on that think "no wonder the burnout rate for teachers is so high."

If I look at the day as a whole and focus on the children, I would say that today was a pretty good one. Book clubs went beautifully, and thank goodness because I had invited the principal to join us (since we can't seem to get her anywhere near the classroom unless she has an engraved invitation). The students were insightful, I was productive, and I even closed the lesson with a reader's response - which I've been slowly trying to incorporate to get them to practice quality writing (believe me, they need it!). I gave a math test, and there were very few questions, and not nearly as many pained faces as the last test I gave. They asked great questions in science - a few that were more advanced than my knowledge (aka, my ultimate fear as a science teacher, and something that occurs far too often).

But the problem was that today I was not able to focus on the children. Today was taken away from me by a parent.

You see, I have this kid in my room who is a worrier. He's got anxiety as a fifth grader. And supposedly it's anxiety that is crippling - like tantrum style, can't function. But the kid I see in class is composed, involved, participatory, and productive.

His mother, on the other hand, displays far more of these symptoms of anxiety than her son. There have been several (yes, several, and we have only had 7 weeks of school) incidents this year in which I have received a phone call (or multiple phone calls!!!) during the school day that I have stopped teaching in order to answer to listen to this parent tell me that her child is very upset, worried that I'm going to be mad, trying desperately to get him to calm down and "our priority is to get him to school" and "he's so worried that this will affect his grade."

Now, the only information I ever received about this child was from his mother. We talked before the year started about his anxiety and that sometimes he gets worried about things. I explained my personal experience with anxiety in school, thinking that this was a totally normal part of being a type A personality. Well now that I'm 7 weeks in, I'm finding out that mom totally downplayed the issue. Apparently this child has been diagnosed by a doctor as having anxiety and he is on medication that is being tweaked. But did his mother tell me any of this so I could make appropriate accomodations and provide him tools to be more successful? NO NO NO NO NO. In fact, she STILL HASN'T SAID A DAMN WORD TO ME!!


I am going to stop writing about this because it has raised my blood pressure. But I have to say that as a teacher, if anyone is going to make me feel like I want to cry before 7:45 in the morning, it should not be a parent. I have teacher friends that are dealing with children that make them cry, but I am not allowed to focus on the kids in my room because of the selfishness of one parent. There is so much more to this story. I could probably tell it over a period of hours. But seriously.

Seriously.

Friday, October 09, 2009

This time I'm at school. 2 blogs on weekdays in a row? Unheard of!

I just wanted to mention something about the level of emotion involved in my job:

This morning I woke up feeling energized. I usually stop for coffee on Friday mornings as a weekly treat, (and because tea doesn't cut it by the end of the week) but I didn't stop this morning - opting instead for a naked juice, yogurt, and an apple.

I got to school and got right to work getting things ready. After such a good day yesterday, I was ready to go!

....and then I started grading papers.

There is nothing more depressing than realizing that what you're doing may not be as effective as you had hoped. This is the case for teachers so often I can hardly measure. I have so much emotion invested in these kids and their success, and when they don't do well it doesn't just irritate me, it actually hurts. It has put me in a mood that matches the crappy weather outside my windows. It's days like these that I wonder how in the world I'll ever be able to do enough for these kids this year. With the little experience I possess, and the incredible amount I have left to learn through trial and error, I worry that there will be kids in here that get let down because of me.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

It is rare that I will write in the middle of the week, but I have had a very good day and thought I should share:

It all started this morning when the kids came in and got right to work without ANY prompting from me. This is rare, and they did it so quietly and efficiently. Got right to the morning routine and were sitting in their desks working on the morning message. I loved it :-)

After that nice quiet start, I did a shared reading lesson that I had come up with while lying in my bed last night. At the moment I'm reading The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid a memoir by Bill Bryson. The book is all about Bryson's life growing up in the 1950s, and it is hysterical. The part I was reading last night, however, tied in to a conversation we had begun the day before in shared reading about natural disasters. Bryson was describing the conditions of a particular tornado his grandparents experienced in rural Iowa, and it provided me with a lightbulb moment. After my training on shared reading on Monday (provided by the district as a part of our new teacher professional development) I knew that I could choose any text, regardless of level, and use it to teach a variety of lessons.

So this morning I prepared photocopies for my kids and decided I would talk about accessing background knowledge to help us understand what we're reading. IT WAS AWESOME!! The kids were with me, they loved Bryson's writing style, and they got excited about the fact that they could read and comprehend an "adult" book.

I went on later that morning to call all 3 of my guided reading groups- no small feat when you don't have a curriculum and you've never practiced teaching guided reading before.

This afternoon was similarly productive. I had a great math class in which the kids worked independently for the majority of the hour and we reviewed together at the end. I was able to finish calling small groups to pre-assess, and able to gather information about how they're getting this unit via a warm-up worksheet.

The kids are also getting really excited about the next science unit. I'm really shocked at how much I'm enjoying science all of a sudden. It's so refreshing to be able to take the content at a slower pace, pick and choose what I feel is important, and to get invigorated about the processes all around us that are so phenomenally complicated and intricate. Our next unit is on weather, and we watched a video that got us all in the mood to be scientists. Being a weather man is like being James Bond with all those gadgets - and the kids think that's way cool!

And then after sitting in traffic for an hour, I sat down at the table for dinner and planned an entire week without cracking a book. What that means is that I'm figuring it out. The planning is becoming more natural. I don't need lesson plans anymore because I'm teaching with the end in mind. I know what the goals are and so do my students, so I direct all of my instruction toward accomplishing those specific goals. When it's all laid out for me, it makes it so much easier to decide what to do and how to do it.

Isn't it great when you feel like you just might finally know what you're doing? I'm happy to say that I'll be able to go away this weekend without worrying about not being prepared for next week. Yay for progress!!!

Sunday, October 04, 2009

I feel like this blog is negative a great deal of the time, so this week I'd like to focus on the positive. Fortunately, there are several things I could talk about (yay!!! finally!!!) so let's get to it:

I had my first evaluation meeting this week. My district uses the Danielson framework as the model for staff evaluations, which dictates that the evaluation process should be an ongoing dialogue between the staff member and the principal. I prepared thoroughly by going through all 4 domains that I was required to provide evidence for with my instructional coach the day before, and I had post-it notes everywhere (reminding myself of the Ferg). My principal arrived and basically said "Just tell me everything." So I did. I talked for a good 25 minutes, pointing out evidence in my classroom as I went along and providing examples as she asked me questions. I felt it was a really productive time for a few reasons:
  1. It helped me uncover all of my accomplishments. I have done A LOT of really good work so far this year, and I continue to refine and improve my practices.
  2. My principal seemed impressed with the amount of evidence I was able to provide, and she warned me not to take on too much - that I was doing a great job already and that I shouldn't push it.
  3. It gave me a way to think through my goals for the short and long term and prioritize a bit.
I also learned this week that I know my students a little bit better than I originally thought. Because of the overwhelming nature of a first-year teaching job, I feel more scatterbrained than I ever have in my entire life. If you know me even a little bit, you know that I am a very orderly, routine-oriented, goal setter. I know what I'm doing, how, and why, well in advance. Teaching has proven to be a very different experience, however. I find it very hard to focus on any one thing, because in a classroom full of 5th graders there are always at least 5 things that require my attention. And don't even get me started on how much there is to remember. I have post-it notes EVERYWHERE (again, I'm turning into Ferg). Despite all this, I was able to fill out mid-term reports with a higher level of confidence about my knowledge of my students' progress than I thought possible. It turned out to be a very nice exercise - forcing me to stop and reflect on each student individually. It also gave me an idea of the strengths and weaknesses of the group. Now that I trust myself to have a handle on the kids, I"m not nearly as nervous about communicating with parents because I definitely have something to say about each kid.

We are at a point of transition in fifth grade this month. We are starting new books in reading, a new math unit, a new science unit, wrapping up a writing assignment.... So, naturally, I am using this as an opportunity to up the ante in the area of expectations. I explained to the kids that work that is less than quality (quality being something we defined as a class) will be graded and returned with the requirement of corrections. I will not be allowing students to make corrections for points back, rather they must correct their mistakes for the good of the exercise. I explained to them that it is time to start turning in fifth grade work, now that they have been fifth graders for a full month. The results? Great so far! It seems like I made at least a small impact. The homework I graded so far this weekend has been much closer to what I expect to see. Now if only I could get these kids to TURN IN THEIR WORK ON TIME (or at all) with names written on their papers. It's the little things.....

And finally, some teacher moments:
  • We started book clubs this week, and had our first group meetings on Friday. The kids were amazing. They were excited about their books and totally focused on the task at hand. They were inquisitive and eager to solve the mysteries, even after reading only the first 2 chapters. I love literature circles because they put full responsibility into the hands of the students, and let them explore books on their own terms. It's awesome.
  • I've been grading personal writing journals from last month. The kids have to write 8-10 pages each month - and they can write ANYTHING they want. One of my girls wrote a 13 page story about me and included everyone in our class. Her writing was superb, and the story was awesome. With just enough fifth grade goofiness, she wrote about my birthday. On that day I didn't come to school, and through the magical powers of unicorns (....she is a fifth grader after all) they discovered that I was writing my letter of resignation because I felt like the kids didn't appreciate or respect me. To prevent me from this crazy act, they threw a surprise birthday party in my backyard featuring the musical stylings of Michael Jackson. It. Was. Awesome.
So that's that folks. Yes, there are still many worries weighing on me where school is concerned, but I'm finally getting a handle on this. For one thing, I was able to plan the ENTIRE week (all the subjects!) and do some grading, aaaannnnnndddd write a blog post, all before bedtime! Maybe I can handle this after all....